hi mom

                My mom is coming home in three days, and I'm totally messed up! I still got the stress from the all those sleepless nights-- of deadlines and projects and stuff. And it's exam week next week! Talk about wrong timing. So here's the thing, I'm ecstatic and all about my mom being finally here after what seemed like forever, but the thing is, I just don't know what I'm going to say to her. Will she listen if I told her about my realizations in life? Will she be happy if I told her she almost contributed to my rebellion and she almost ruined my life but I realized it was for the better anyway? Will she be glad to hear that? Will she join in the fun if I tell her all about the boys who came into my life, and will she also smile at the mention of  my almost first love? It's really tough. And talk about my grades! Will she still be proud of me if I told her all about the retakes and the dropping and the NC's? Will she still accept me as her daughter? Oh my, I never thought this would even be stressful. And Ram, oh that boy! He's been adding to that stress, talk about divine intervention. He has been reappearing again and again in my mind, in my thoughts and in my dreams! How's that possible? Am I missing him in anyway or am I just reminded of him? I have no answer to that question. It's tough, it's tough, it's tough! I wish this would be over. And I wish it would be summer classes soon. >.<

                Oh I almost forgot, I'm about to turn eighteen in less than three months and I'm taking it less seriously, like it's no big deal. I'm not saying that it should be, it's just that people in my country somehow take it as the age of transformation from being a  girl to becoming a lady, and introducing her to the society. It would be my come out party-- my debut. And I the debutant is not even thinking about it. It's not that I didn't think about it before, I did, but now, I don't know. I guess I'm a little bored with regards to my debut.

-- yeah, seriously, don't mind the names, I'm still trying to man up to consequences this vulgarity would bring >.< but a blog has to be blog right? it has to be honest, otherwise you couldn't consider it as a blog.  So, to hell with all the reactions this will get.


-- what better way to greet my mom than to have her read this! I'm pretty sure I'd be dead. And oh, this was a year ago.