transition vs change

                          Transition-- a single, hardly abused word-- that I never even understood until last year. A single, powerless, insignificant word that meant nothing more than a word from a book. The first time I heard that word was during a Sunday service, the preacher was talking about it and he mentioned the word "change" along with it. Transition. Change. It's all just the same meaning, all the same context, all the same approach. Transition meant change-- a transformation, a shift from good to bad, from evil to righteousness-- in my case, it's from hometown to big city; friends to enemies; in my brothers' case, it's from small private schools to big colleges; in my dad's case it's from being a pastor to being a student, in my mom's case, it's from having regular work to double work to overload-- transition was a positive-negative thing for us. Positive in the sense that we get to explore the other side of world-- the other side of life. Negative in the sense that we have to sacrifice-- leave things, people and feelings behind even if we didn't want to just because we have to. I seldom heard of transition, but I was familiar with change. Change is like honey-- it's good for everyone to have a taste of it. Others have it momentary, while some have it for a lifetime. I don't regret change-- in fact, I love change-- the idea of being a new person having a new life excites me deep inside. But I can't say the same for transition. I seldom heard the word, I only get to experience it once in my 18 years of existence-- and it's quite painful. I found out transition is a very painful, unfair word-- I detest it-- no matter what they say about it being a blessing in disguise I still am not a patron of the foul word. Transition. Change. I unconsciously realized that the two don't go vice versa on each other like Webster or any other dictionary states. I realized with transition comes unexpected changes-- unexpected hurt, unexpected leaving, unexpected pain-- things that change cannot do. I guess I'm a bitter, sad person-- I can't accept what reality is in front of me, and I can't accept the fact that I can’t handle my own small reality. But I'm hopeful. I'm trying. I'm persevering. I'm believing. Though I can't have the sweet, simple, easy change I want, though I'm stuck with the bitter, hard, painful transition right now-- I'm hopeful-- of God's goodness and mercy to abound in the midst of my bitter, sinful heart. I'm trying-- to get a hold of myself and of God's grace. I'm persevering-- every pain, every emotion I'm having since the day I encountered transition itself. And I'm believing-- I'm believing God and His love to overpower my weaknesses and transform my pain and resentment into love for other people.