Okay, so like I'm
supposed to be in a hurry right now, typing this and stuff because I have an
exam on Philosophy tomorrow and I haven't opened my book yet-- which I should
have by the way-- but, running out of
words to say is what is keeping me from progressing on this piece I'm writing
right now. I don't know where to start with my story, should I be like
"Guess what? R and I are friends…" or should I start with
"Well after quite some time, he finally responded to my effort.." I
mean, seriously? I shouldn't even be having this argument in my head with what
starting line to use. Okay so back on the topic, YES, we are now friends (just
friends, and no, we don't have that special something going on, or that
we-fall-in-love-with-each-other-all-over-again feeling-- we are just your
everyday-casual-friends). Well, the night I called and sent the last text
message I was supposed to send to him, I prayed to God, I prayed that He would
enlighten R's mind, or help him in whatsoever way to put past him the hurt
and the pain, to help him move on, et cetera. I told God, that He above anyone
else knew how I really felt, and that if it's not His will that we be friends
again, then I asked Him to take away the guilty feeling that I have had for the
past three years, I was like: "This is just too much, this has gotten way
over, I don't want a part of this anymore if this really has no contribution to
my life, if this is just a passing feeling then I don't want it, I don't want
to be guilty over something I shouldn't be fussing over in the first
place"-- that's what I told Him. Then, the day after, my prayer got
answered. R texted me, actually he apologized for failing to respond to the
earlier messages because he said he had no load and furthermore he was
listening when I called so, that's it, that's what he said and when I saw his
name appear on my phone with the icon of a new message, I was like jumping and
screaming all around the house. I can't believe what I actually felt, it was
like WOW, finally! I mean, I gave up on trying to reach out already, I gave it
to God because I couldn't handle the situation anymore. And now He was like
delivering what I was asking for right at my very own doorstep. So in other
words, R and I texted, we talked about his life and mine, how we had grown
over the years. I told him I wanted to say sorry, but we'd have to talk two
years from now since I'd be going to Rome this summer, he was okay with that.
He told me he had moved on with his life, that he's now okay, and that we
should do the same-- just forget about the pain in the past. He mentioned he
had a "girlfriend" or in his words
"what-seemed-like-a-girlfriend"-- because he argued that the
relationship wasn't really that serious because he didn't court the girl,
actually he doesn't court girls anymore, he believes sweet talking is the key
to win them over-- I disagreed of course, but I didn't tell him that, because
in a way he had a point, I do want to be courted but there's a part of me that
wishes my future relationship shouldn't be that complicated (with the courting
and all). I believed him when he said he's fine now, I believe everything he
says, but he said that although it's all in the past now, he has the right to
know what happened back then just for the sake of knowing and I was more than
willing to tell him, just not now because I can't fly all the way there to tell
him-- I want it to be personal because that's what he deserves, it's the least
I could do after all the lies he thought he believed. He has changed-- a lot--
and I have too, but there's still that chemistry we had back then, when
although we are characters apart, we can still relate with each other. So
that's it, we're not really in constant communication with each other, I'm okay
with that. I believe in our new friendship, besides I also believe God has a
purpose why suddenly after three years he allows someone from my past to pop
back into my life again. Don't you think?
-- God would always bring people to our lives, for us to touch their lives, and for them to touch our lives.
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