loneliness on impulse

        I felt alone. For the first time in two years, I felt alone. Yes, the laughter and jokes I shared with my friends couldn't even contain the fact that I was indeed feeling deserted and I didn't know why. Was it because I wasn't given enough attention by my friends? Of course not, they always, always give me more than enough of their attention. If that's not the case then, what is? Am I feeling so alone because I don't have a boyfriend or a special someone to share my feelings with? Well, the answer would have to be no. Of course there were times that I wished to have someone to share my life with but that's not the reason. I lived my whole life without a boyfriend by my side what makes it any different today? Is being too far away from home that much of a drama that it could cause a certain depth of loneliness in you? I don't think so. Honestly, I have no idea as to why I'm feeling lonely and deserted and all the more sad. I didn't do anything that could trigger that much sadness. And as far as I'm concerned, no one has ever hurt me for the past two years that would result in my melancholic behavior. Fuck. That's just it. I'm lost. Really lost. I don't know why this is happening to me, I haven't got a clue. And please, would you stop that already Mr. I'm so alone right now?! Go fuck up somebody else! You're ruining my beautiful life! I'm not supposed to feel this way, I'm not supposed to be sad! NO ONE DIED! Get it? NO ONE! So that doesn't give me the right to be sad or to shed a tear. And you're here pestering my so happy life, trying to make me feel alone. Well guess what? It's taking effect, I AM FEELING ALONE! Are you happy now? Could you just stop it already? Cause we both know I've had enough >.<

-- this post seems way off its embarrassing. But I'm entertained, and I wonder how I could've written something like this.