goodbye 2012, hello 2013

                     It's 5:20 am here in Rome. I am wide awake, and there's a lot of subtle snoring going on in the room. It's now official, the year 2012 has left along with its threats of total human race extinction, and 2013 has been welcomed bringing with it hope of longer and brighter days. I celebrated the New Year by going all sleeping beauty on everyone and missing out on all the fun. Yes, at 11:45 in the evening of December 31, 2012, I tucked myself into bed, put on my earplugs, and set my sleeping mask. I zoned out for an hour or so, only hearing whispers, and bits of explosions coming from above the roof, oblivious to the chaotic fun happening outside. Well, at least I started my year right by sleeping rather than by being bitter. The reason for my lack of interest in the fireworks display this year, was that I didn't get to watch it from the city's top view, because my mom couldn't be bothered to come and walk with me there. Shallow, I know. Suddenly I wish for more adventurous parents, but then parents mixed with adventure screams total havoc, so, yeah, I guess I am thankful. And since I mentioned thankful, I would like to thank God for the wonderful year He has given me. 2012 has been nothing more than a year of dreams, and it's still all too surreal for me. Never in my wildest dreams have I ever thought of coming to Rome at such a young age-- thought it was only for the rich, famous, and those brave enough to really step foot outside their world-- but I realized it's for anybody really, anybody whose got a dream in their heart. Before I came here, I was already traveling across the Luzon and Visayas area in the Philippines, and that was an added bonus to my year. I met new people, made new friends, visited new places, and realized new passions, discovering more of me in Him in the process. Thank you for that interestingly fun-filled year, and thank you for the opportunities and the people You put in my life. Family, Friends, Mentors, everyone, thank you for keeping me and for standing by my side always. In memory of last year's New Year's Celebration, here are some shots taken during the first of January, year 2012:

                      May we all have a prosperous and overflowing year of blessings this 2013! For now I have to go to bed, because I need my beauty rest! I am starting the year with more love! Love lots!

year ender

                Last 2011 I ended the year with a bang-- celebrating for the first time, Christmas with my family and relatives in Manila. The year before that, 2010, my dad, brothers and I also celebrated our first Christmas in a new apartment after thirteen years of renting that old, haunted-like house, by the side of the road. This year I celebrated my first Christmas with my mom in Rome-- at least the only one that I can and will remember being with her on Christmas Eve. 

                Three consecutive years of change. Every year holds a promise of something new: a new journey, a new place, a new house, new people, a new adventure-- all of which I never dreamed of experiencing. The year 2010 brought us change, 2011 brought us new hope, and 2012 tested our new found hope. In a few more hours, the old year will end and the new one will start, 2013 will overflow with greater promise, and new starts for all of us even for me. Cheers for being alive and for not seeing the anticipated doomsday! I thank God for the numerous blessings, opportunities, and for every promise that He has fulfilled in my life. Truly He holds everything in His hands. Because of Him I will be ending this year with a smile on my face, and a new dream in my heart: the dream to go the distance, and be who He wants me to be. With every walk down a new street, a ride on a newly departing train, and with every sound of a shutter closing, I am slowly but surely realizing where I want to be headed with my life, on that long, winding journey of finding and discovering. Before I end this year, I would like to reminisce the results of my wanderlust, I will be showcasing below some of the shots I took this year. Yes, this has been long overdue, and I apologize, for lack of a better excuse I will just leave my apology at that.

                  These were taken on the transit from Riyadh to Rome, when I had to sit for twelve hours at the waiting area of the King Khaled International Airport, and wait for the sun to show itself.

               Funny story, some Arab women back at the airport's ladies room actually thought I was Arab also (thick eyebrows. they can be deceiving, yes?) They somehow managed to ask me-- in their own language-- why I was dressed that way, you know, jeans and sweats with no head scarf on. Orrr, maybe I was just really breaking the rules or something. Ha! I wouldn't know.

                The next photos were from my first night in Rome, when my mom and I passed by Piazza della Repubblica on the way home after dinner. Piazza della Republicca is one of the tourist attractions in Rome, and I think it's because of the Fontana delle Naiadi-- the fountain located at the center of the circle with the creepiest sculptures ever to be seen by my eyes-- and I say this without malice, but I've got to hand it to the artist for having such wild, vivid imaginations, of naked people sitting on what appears to be a scary horse and ostrich. Well, according to my research, the ostrich is actually a swan, and the naked people are actually nymphs.

                 Anyway that's all I could upload for now. As simple as it may seem, uploading is really kind of a pain in the butt for me since my laptop keeps on blacking out, well technically, it tends to go all white with the screen and all that crap, and I have to wait for a couple of minutes for it to be back on again. I seriously need to buy an external hard drive! I will be one dead girl if my laptop gets fried (God forbid). But it will have to do for now, because I don't have the money to buy myself a hard drive. I also need to start saving up for that prime lens I've been dying to have for more than a year now, but how will I ever save up if I don't even have a job. So I guess 2013 will be good to me, I'll have a job, I'll travel, I'll shoot and I'd somehow, in a sort of different way, be close to being like Nirrimi-- free-spirited and brave. Ha! Like what the pastor said earlier, "Start to ask big from God, because He is no small god." That's exactly what I will do, ask big from Him tonight. So guys, greet the New Year with awesomeness because it will be awesome! I promise to update sooner, and really get back on those long overdue posts.

adventures with ness

                 I've been in a pensive mood lately, for four days now actually. Trying to reflect on something I just recently discovered, on whether I should fight for it, or just let it go. Some things are just hard to fathom really, and the more you force yourself to grasp the reality of something, the more it leads you to believe that the reality you're believing in is nothing but a mere lie. Someday this will all be settled, and when it's time, I shall tell of why there was a point in my life when I wished nothing more but to get drunk on my first beer, get addicted to my first cigarette, and get high with my first weed. But for now, I shall only tell of my adventures with a new friend I've come to know more, and love more while I am in this new place-- Ness.

this is Vanessa, I call her Nessa, or Ness for short.

her smiles remind me so much of a dear friend-- Kaye.

yes, she's a bit crazy also, like me.

               We went to EUR FERMI, a place in Rome, a bit far from the center of Rome, actually this place is the second to the last stop on the Metro going to Laurentina. I think this was shot last week, we were planning to have an autumn shoot but when I saw the place everything was so green, it felt like spring instead of autumn. The seasons here are kind of confusing, it's supposed to be autumn already but there are days when it's still hot outside, and leaves haven't even changed colors yet. There are also days when it's so cold you could wear up to three layers of clothing and still feel the gnawing cold. I blame global warming. The earth is not the same earth anymore, and the results are now becoming more visible. Moving on, we decided that since we can't have our autumn shoot, then we should at least have some fun and just play around and that's exactly what we did-- be goofballs and all. It was so fun, I arrived home a bit late that night meaning 7 p.m since the traveling distance was a bit far. So there you are, I actually was more of a "model" than a photographer during this fun shoot because I have more photos than Ness! And that is why, in between shots my mind would be nostalgic and remember my friends back in Cebu, especially Kaye, because she was always the first to be confident in me and push me to smile for her as she takes a shot of me. If you are reading this Kaye, I miss you! Here is one shot of me which I really like.

And here are the rest of our photos. Thank you Ness for taking great photos of me! That is all. More updates soon, I'm planning on making a video, taking a lot of random bus rides, and having more of my Rome experience because I need a break from all this negative vibe that is going on.

old city

               Cold, striking, semi-winter wind blowing in through the open window. I listen to the mellow, slow songs playing loud on the computer, and to the car engines running outside on the street, feeding the nostalgic breeze inside the room. Earlier I went to Piramide (a place here in Rome), and I was alone. It wasn't my first time to travel alone nor to the ride the metro bus by myself, I've been doing that for quite some time now ever since I got here, but it was my first time to go to this particular place without someone to accompany me. Usually I travel alone when I'm just going from the apartment to the agency, which is near Termini, the major public transport capital in central Rome. When traveling to places aside from Termini and the agency I need to have someone with me and earlier seemed a bit courageous for a scaredy-cat like myself. I guess it's totally different from when I was in the Philippines, I always had someone to go with me, and I could always ask people around for directions or help-- here it seems difficult especially with the language barrier and all. I only know of a few Italian words and I couldn't even finish a statement much less ask for directions to anywhere. But it's been better though, better than the feeling when I first came here. I could say I have accepted the reality that would take years to accept and I managed within days of my arrival.

my mom

                  Rome is so beautiful when I look at it from an artist's perspective, an old city coming to life right in front of your very eyes, who wouldn't marvel at such beauty? Chapping paint, rusty metal marks, old-but-sturdy-walls, and exquisite relief on nearly every building and every column. It's heaven for every architecture enthusiast. If only I could have lived then, when private vehicles didn't crowd the sides of the streets, when people never feared of thieves and pick pockets roaming everywhere, back to the time when the old city had old life. Now it seems that the old is colliding with the new, and the new is trying to fit in the old. Regardless, it still is an amazing mix-up of both worlds, and it still is magical. Above are pictures from my first encounter with Rome, from the moment I stepped outside the apartment to the trip to Colosseum, Fontana di Trevi, Repubblica and my first night in Rome. I'll post more decent photos when I get the chance, I've been so busy with my documents again-- when will this cycle of paper-processing ever end?